Two days ago I accidentally left my phone at home.
I felt so completely lost without it. Work is just not the same. I wanted to listen to Words of Radiance on audible or Evil Friends by: Portuguese, the Man. Listening to the endless babble of the office makes the day drag on forever.
I’ve tired that whole being social thing a million times over the last three years and eight months I’ve worked here. My biggest problem is that I don’t have much in common with the majority of the people who work here. I don’t watch current tv because I don’t have or want cable. I don’t read up on celebrities because honestly who really cares? I’m not pregnant or have kids, of course I do really want some. I do baby sit a lot for my cousins but apparently that doesn’t count. I don’t suffer from anxiety, I’m not a hypochondriac, I don’t make a show of being sick…I could go on and on with the endless list of reasons why I don’t really fit in at work. In the end I really just don’t have anything to talk to them about.
That being said there are about 10 people in the office that I can talk too about anything. Unfortunately for me they are all in different departments and spread out all over the building so I can only chat with them in small bursts.
When it comes to the people that are around me, I’m lost. Half of the time I don’t know what they are talking about. I don’t feel comfortable chiming in on things I don’t know about. If I ask about something, they all think of as normal, they look at me with that oh, you depraved lost girl look. Anything I am into they don’t get at all. If I bring up writing a novel they shut down. They don’t ask any questions and if I try to give details they don’t really listen. If I talk about painting or drawing it might win me a sentence or two. If I mention reading an actual book, they look at me like I’m crazy. Read a book for myself?? Not a picture book I’m reading to my kids??? That is just crazy! They haven’t read anything in years. I have a very hard time understanding that. I read over a hundred books and countless short stories last year. So far this year, I’m totally slacking, I’ve read a grand total of nine books(I’m working on the tenth) >side note< my sister (who is my wonderful editor) will very quickly point out that it wasn’t until the tenth grade that I read anything for pleasure… I would like to point out that, I am very dyslexic, I had a very hard time keeping up with school work and it’s been a decade since then. I’ve read so many books that I’ve literally lost track of them. Ask me about a book I read four years ago and I would probably only remember the basic plot. I would make myself read it again in the next few days, just so I can relive the glory of it.
The only things that everyone asks me about are my tattoos and my jewelry. Thankfully I have a lot of meaning in my tattoos and most of my jewelry is custom made. But that is a story for another day.
*update- I wrote this 2 days ago. Not sure why I didn’t post it.
Yesterday I had about a 10 minute discussion on books with the girls… It turns out most of them have read 6 books in the past two years. The 50 shades of gray books and the hunger games. They swear 50 shades is the best series ever… And they all agreed that they hated the ending to the hunger games. I just kept my mouth shut and let them have their “intellectual conversation.” About the time they started talking about Twilight and how it was the perfect love story I stopped listening completely. If I would have said anything I would have pointed out the horrible writing for 50 shades (which I only made through about 25 pages) and Twilight. About the hunger games comments…if you take two seconds to realize you are not reading a fairy tail, you would think the ending was perfect.
How do you feel in your work place? Any tips for me on how to not feel so awkward?
Have a wonderful rest of your day!